Stay at home wife (SAHW) pt.2
If you are someone who stays at home and runs the household how many calendars do you manage?
You might be thinking, that’s random? But it’s not, even without having children I manage 7 calendars. I manage my health calendar; which includes doctor appts, refill dates, how much medicine I have for a trip and more. Then, I manage Michael’s medical calendar. When does he need a check up, does he have all the meds he need, does he need to see a doctor and if so who should he go see and let’s call and set up the new patient appt. I manage Belle’s calendar; when does she need a vet appt, are her shots up to date, does she need to take her monthly worm, tick, flea meds, ordering food etc. I manage our social calendar; who is coming to visit and when, how they are arriving and do we need to pick them up, where we are traveling and when we won’t be home. I manage the social calendar for birthdays and extra events; when do gifts need to be bought, who needs gifts this year, how are the gifts getting to particular people, who has priority for visits this year, where Belle will be while we do visits.
I manage the household cleaning calendar. When things need to be repaired and tell Mike who to call or what needs done. This calendar is different each day depending on a number of factors that I need to take into account. There are priority lists that need to be made so that things that are in desperate need of attention are getting completed instead of only the easy things or one room. , I also manage the food calendar; when do we need to go grocery shopping? What do we need? What food are we eating for dinner this month, what meals sounds good and finally, when meals need to happen.
This is A LOT all on top of managing my health problems, managing rest, working on my blog and social media business, working on school.. it adds up.
If we were to add up all the hours a day we spend maintaining things for this job and then add even minimum wage we would be making a crazy amount of money. We are the CEOs/ COOs of our household. If a ball gets dropped it’s our fault. This is not a complaining post. I love being a stay at home wife. This is a post to explain why this is a job and not just simply a luxury.
However, it isn’t an acceptable job. At least that is how it feels in the world we live in. Reminding myself and others that what we do matters and without it life would be a lot more exhausting for our partner to manage along with work is vital for me to have a healthy relationship with my job. I need to remember and Mike is great at reminding me how nice it is that he doesn’t have to worry about cooking dinner, cleaning the dishes, doing the laundry, everything is just clean for him. That is something that was also important to me. I felt if he was going to work all day for us to go live our lives however, we want I dont want him to worry about dishes, laundry or anything. Now there are obviously times when I cant complete these tasks but its few and far between because I take as a job and you can only have so many sick days.
The next time you struggle with feeling less than, with feeling like you cant say “Im a stay at home wife”, feeling ashamed, stop, and remember you are giving your spouse or partner free time back that they would have without you. You are giving them back their life otherwise it would simply be work and then house work. You are making a better life for the two of you the same way your partner is with their job.
What I also want to be sure to mention is how life comes in waves. There are waves of energy, waves of stressful work schedules for your partner, waves of deadlines, waves of visitors, waves of everything you can imagine that might change the dynamic a bit and that is okay. It is okay if at a certain time its all hands on deck. It was like that during our move to texas & the few months following. If you are so rigid in your roles and unable to adapt to help one another as things change the hard times will only become harder. This is where COMMUNICATION is key. Every week mike and I talk about what each of our expectations are for the week and what things we have scheduled taht we both need to be at or we need help with.
I would recommend adding this to your routine with your husband or partner. Make sure to pick a time, we usually talk in bed before we go to sleep Sunday night about the week ahead. What days He has to be up earlier than normal? Does he have to go into town at all? Does he have to go out of town? Do I need to get groceries (therefore need a ride), Do I have doctors appts he needs to be at? then, we see what we have going on for the weekend if it is free and one of us has an idea we recommend it. If we are having visitors I tell Mike my plan to get ready for them and see if im missing anything. This works great for us because it keeps us on the same page. Also, if one of us is down for the count the other knows what needs to be completed.
Let me know if you try this out & remember you are uniquely made in God’s image. Your job whether it be outside of the house or inside, as long as you do it for His glory, He is proud.
1 Corinthians 10: 31
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the Glory of God.”
With all my love,
Willow Ann
