First Hospital Experience

My whole life, I knew that I was unstoppable; that if I was willing to put my mind to it and work hard, I could attain it. It wasn't in myself that I had this faith for success it was in God. I knew that if I went where God led me, I would succeed. 

Life hasn't been easy. Looking back it never was easy and the older I get the more I learn that nobody said it would be. What has always been constant was the joy that God gave me. It didn't matter what was going wrong; if it was my health, money problems, difficulty in school, pain from losing family, I always had God to turn to. He is the reason I am alive to tell my story and the reason I wake up each morning. 

I have been in pain longer than I can remember. That is something else right? I truly don't even remember my earliest times of pain flares. When I was born, I felt like my pancreas wasted no time in becoming angry. I have a few milestone memories that I now look back on and its like I see the story in color now. I remember being in kindergarten and playing kickball at recess. I caught the ball but it hit my abdomen. The impact knocked me to the ground in pain. I remember thinking, “why am I crying? I must be so weak. Every other kid gets hit like this and they are fine after, what is wrong with me?” A little while after, It went away. A few years later I was laying down for bed and I noticed that I could never touch my epigastric area without causing horrible pain, I thought EVERYONE felt like this. I now look back on these two moments and realize that I had been suffering from pancreatitis attack pain far before I even knew it wasn't supposed to be there. I just thought everyone couldn’t lay a pillow or blanket on their stomach because it weighed to much and pushed on their “stomach” which is what I thought the pain was until I learned about the pancreas.

If you ask anyone who knew me from my childhood or who have known me for awhile now, common adjectives they would use to describe me would be: hyper, energetic, bubbly, social, loving, caring, on fire for Christ. I like to think the reason I made it as far as I did was because God was covering me with his protection and allowing me to have my childhood. When I was 14, the pain began to get out of control. I had terrible pain flares before that would land me on my knees praying, reading the bible out loud, and crying out for Jesus with no relief. However, This particular flare had lasted for 2 months. I was losing my mind. Everything caused more pain. Nothing made it feel better and all my pediatrician suggested was tums because she was sure it was an ulcer.

My mom finally said enough is enough and my dad loaded me into the car to drive to St. Louis Children’s hospital ER. We got there and they ran an amylase lipase and the levels were off the chart. They told me I was in the middle of a pancreatitis attack and they were going to admit me. I feel like this was my defining moment, you know the moment they show in movies, when the person is in shock and all the voices around them quiet and disappear into the silence where the loud high pitched sound is coming from. Prior to this hospital visit, I had always been healthy. The only surgery I had was to have my tonsils removed and then that was it. I didn't get sick and now, I was staying overnight at the hospital. This isn't happening.

How could this be happening? I am healthy.

I was admitted to 8 West which unbeknown to me would become my second home and family. I would grow up here. I would spend nights playing hide and go seek through the halls with my dad because my legs would be so restless at night keeping me from sleeping. I would create friendships that would last for years. I was so scared as they moved me upstairs. I am one of the lucky ones, my family has an unusually large amount of experience with hospitals so my Mom was a champ. From that moment to ever moment after she did all she could to make it feel safe, homey, and encouraging in my hospital rooms.

When we arrived on 8West, I met my nurses. Let me tell you if you want to find the hardest working and most talented and caring nurses be admitted to 8 West. You aren’t given a choice but that is the place to go. They are amazing. The first night I am there I didn’t know how to sleep, its like a hotel but also, not at all. I was directed to have nothing by mouth and they would keep me hydrated and manage pain. The next morning we had rounds and that is where I met my GI doctor. I am so thankful I was admitted while it was her turn to cover the floor. She was amazing. She knew just what to say to help me feel like she knew exactly what to do and it was going to be all good. I am so blessed to have had her as my doctor. I ended up there for 2 weeks before Christmas. This ensured that I missed every final for my first year, first semester, of high school. Another, thing that was so much fun. Having to take finals for the first time on my own without my peers.

I had many friends visit. That was one thing I was never short of for all of those hospital stays. I was never short on visitors. If you are one of those people who visited me. If you were one of the people who have been around since my first hospital stay and prayed, thank you. Thank you.

With all my love,

Willow Ann