What is a.. Stay At Home Wife (SAHW)

For the longest time I thought there was only one reason you would be working at your house and it was to raise kids. The only way to hold any kind of job title with the words “stay at home” at the beginning was if it ended in “mom”.

When I got married, I had every intention of eventually working. Actually, at the time I had a job. I was a nanny. A real nanny, not a babysitter here and there. I was part of the team that raised that child and I worked mostly daily but also as needed. My hours were planned but they also would change to account for the child’s needs as well as changes in the parents scheduel. I loved being a nanny especially to that special little girl who will always have a huge piece of my heart! The only reason I didn’t stay a nanny with them was because mike received a job offer we couldn’t turn down so us with our 3 month long marital experience packed everything up sold our house & bought one in Baton Rouge.

We did all of this during the beginning of the pandemic and we lived in Baton Rouge for the entire length of the serious part of the pandemic. At first we were coming down to look at houses and going back home, we would sleep in the truck we did everything we could do to avoid getting sick. Then when we finally bought our house we lived in that house. At that time my doctors didn’t want me going out and about and a lot of the time louisiana would be the worst state in the country when it came to number of covid cases.

I was on lockdown. I had originally planned to babysit or find someone to nanny for but kids were germy and my doctors didn’t want me exposing myself. So that was off the table. I couldn’t find a job that kept me safe and was flexible. It was irritating. I just kept my head down and kept focusing on sharing my life with all of you on instagram, keeping myself healthy, finishing my classes and doing all I could in the house. I decided that if I couldn’t get a job outside of the house my job was going to be THE house. I was going to be a stay at home wife. CrINgE

Homemade from scratch tomato soup and grilled cheese!

As the months ticked on and eventually the years went by being at home became more and more normal and acceptable. I could work on completing my bachelors in psychology while keeping the house clean, making dinner, taking care of the dog, and helping remember all the social events and gifts etc. It was working out well for us but that couldn’t be. Remember, I told you that there is no acceptable job that starts with “Stay at home” and ends with anything other than “Mom”. Last time I checked, I still can’t carry a baby and we have not adopted so no, i’m not a mom. Meaning, this is not an acceptable long term role and I need to get out of it before Mike gets annoyed with it.

As the pandemic calmed and things seemed to open, I started thinking it might be time to start looking into some jobs and babysitting etc. As I was processing that we were also in the middle of a negotiation with two companies because Mike was receiving a new job offer, much better, but was trying to be respectful to his current company. He did everything we could to try to stay but they didn’t seem to care even though he was doing the majority of the work. They wanted to close a blind eye to all the extra he was doing and leave him in the role he was in.

We eventually moved to Texas, for mike’s job, again, We had decided early on in our relationship that we would be willing to move early on because that is how you move up quickly and we don’t want to have to move a ton once we have a family. We of course, still spent time praying over the plan but God led us forward to abilene. I mean it was crazy what God did to help us feel confident that we were going where he wanted us to be which when everything was going wrong this was the most comforting of it all. I started getting some partnerships going where I was making decent money on social media. Nothing crazy but was covering my prescription costs from time to time. I had wanted to start a blog for the longest time but I didn’t know how to build the site so I was looking for someone to help. Well, eventually I had to give up and just figure it out myself and I am so glad I did. It made me feel so strong and capable. I loved it.

I then decided that you know what I have been feeling called toward doing something like this for years now and I am finally doing it. Do you know how good it feels to be completing a task that God has been asking your to do for years? It was right before I completed my website when I began feeling proud of my job, my “Stay at home wife” job. I took care of things that mattered. I was an equal part of the team in our marriage and michael was appreciative of it all. He was happy we were able to even choose to do something like this. He was thankful that someone was able to maintain the house and check on the dog and book all the annoying appts that you have to wait on the phone for ever. He was able to focus on his job and the house could go to the back of his mind. We were a true honest to God team.

I was trying to identify why this felt so great and how to explain this to you all and it comes back to something so obvious, so simple. Christ calls us to SERVE others. He does tell us exactly what to do but he calls us to lower ourselves and not let ourselves think of any job is below us. He wants us to serve one another. Mike serves me and this is how I serve him. If you were looking for a secret to a happy marriage so the next time you feel bad for not having a job or for being at home all the time. I want you to come back to this article. I want you to remember how important it is to have someone who can help fill in the gaps that you forget when you are working full time. I want you to think about how nice it must be for someone who works 50+ hours a week to know that there is someone taking care of the house, taking care of the dog, and creating a home cooked meal when they are done working. Just because society doesn’t put near enough value in these jobs doesn’t mean we need to listen to what standards they are setting. You are more, You are valued. You are kind. I will work on a part 2 that will go into married and being a stay at home wife.

with all my love,

Willow Ann