3-5 Business Days
Just a girl and her pup in recovery mode.
I don’t recover at a normal pace. I’m not saying that everyone recovers at the exact same pace. There is no recovery standard; whether they are healthy or not. However, the range of what would seem normal for recovery from an event never is the length that I need for recovery from said event. Simply put, I need 3-5 business days.
Belle is my recovery buddy. She is stuck to my side during my “3-5 work days”
I need 3-5 Business days to recover from a day of activity or a visit from family/ friends. It can be as mundane as going to the grocery store, eating lunch with a friend, making dinner and a walk.
Isn’t that maddening? Could you imagine planning for people to visit and then planning your recovery time? Everything I do, rest has to be considered. I am not someone that can just push through after a certain point. I guess I should clarify, in a world where everyday I have to push through eventually there is a limit. Eventually the car runs out of gas. Eventually, I can’t keep up. . Therefore, when I am no longer hosting. When I am home and there is not an imminent event. When there is no longer doing anything needed, wanted, wished from me, my body crashes.
When I crash after an event or trip; I crash hardddddd.
Some of you may be reading this saying “well you clearly need boundaries.” or “just say no more” or “why dont you travel less?”.My favorite, “Why don’t you just stop pushing so hard?” It is quite simple actually and pretty easy to answer.
BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE.
It’s amazing to me how many people want me to stop or think that it would be better for me to just not. Others suggest things like, not having people over, not going on vacation, not visiting my friends, not showing up because it wears you down. Do you know how depressing that sounds? If I did all of that, why even exist at all? And it isn’t only healthy people who tell me this.. its other chronically ill people.
Sleeping but trying to pretend Im not because I hated that I was sleeping so much. Always have a battery pack charger, a notebook, a pen, and your essentials on a nearby table.
What I can tell you is that the chronically ill people who have told me these things are usually those who have not done any kind of counseling or processing when it comes to their disease. They have not accepted their new normal. They blame the world or pretend it isnt there. They say no to everything and wonder why they feel so lonely. I am not saying you cant say no. Geez, that is honestly, way to common of a word in my life BUT you must for the sake of your survival, adapt. We have to adapt and create boundaries and processes that keep us accountable and safe.
That is why I am so thankful for a friend like Bailey who won’t let anything keep us apart. Oh so I can’t fly up to Maryland and be gone again because its too much? No problem she will just learn how to fly with her 4 month old by herself. She is incredible. I will never understand how she does it but I am so beyond thankful for her. For her strength to carry that extra weight so that we can be together and I don’t wither away to nothing. I need her. I don’t care if there is a recovery time.
It is why I am thankful for when we have family able to visit because being on my own territory is easier to manage. It has more to do with not having to spend all this time processing logistics of medications and medial devices and making sure there is enough and it all gets there. When I am home, Im at home base. Everything I need is here and if i need something more I can easily arrange that.
Another thing I am thankful for is the fact that my friends and family are sure to always have my safe foods and a comfy spot set up for me when I am visiting. This is a huge blessing and something that I can’t explain how much stress it takes off of me. When your own body is fighting you every way you turn it is so nice to not have to worry about safe foods and comfortability.
Now, does the recovery time get annoying? 100%. I think this is usually the time when I realize the most that I really am not a normal 26 year old. Its like I can fool myself for so long until the trip ends. When we get done with a trip or event my body throws up its hands and just lays down. It takes me my 3-5 business days to recover and the others who were on the trip with me need max an hour nap, I notice.
I wouldnt change it though. I wouldnt wish I hadnt had that visit. I wouldnt have rathered just be left alone. My cup is filled so I have the strength to get through this recovery time as well as the space between this and my next visit or adventure. This visit helps my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health which is JUST if not more important.
I hope this helps others process this. I know you may have teachers, bosses, coworkers, moms, dads, friends or family members who disapprove of you living your life. It’s hard. I try to remember that they are just worried for me and don’t know how to portray that appropriately without asking me to be a hermit. Hopefully, this will give you some tools when you have a conversation with them next on how important it is that you do get out or you do have visits.
Never be afraid to ask for what you need. You don’t know, maybe those who are the most concerned and are always telling you not to do stuff would be the most supportive if they knew how to help. Explain things to those around you. Ask for help when you need it. It may change their entire thought process.
