How Can I Help My Friend in a Flare

When your friend is chronically ill and in a flare it can be hard to know what to do. They may be hard to get a hold of. Maybe they aren’t available on their cell phones. Its not uncommon for people who are chronically ill and going through a flare to end up also going into a situational depression stage. If you encourage and help them early on in a flare maybe they will be able to avoid the depression stage.

1. Offer to bring them over their homework from classes missed.

2. Offer to sit with them and help teach them the lesson they missed.

3. Offer to bring over dinner.

4. Offer to give them a massage.

5. Ask them if they need anything picked up & if so, ask if they want to come with just for a ride to get out of the house.

6. Help with some cleaning or straightening. They likely have water bottles, cups, plates, etc throughout the room they have been in.

What not to say to your friend with chronic illness

1. I saw that you were out last night with family you must be feeling all better.

2. You don’t look like you aren’t feeling well

3. My Grandma has diabetes so I totally understand what you are going through

4. I could never stick myself, I hate needles.

5. I don’t know how you do it.

How Do I know If My Friend Is Struggling with depression during their flare?

1. They may not answer your texts or calls.

2. They may be uninterested in things you know they were interested in before.

3. They may be eating more than normal or eating less than normal.

4. They may not be showering or changing clothes.

5. They also may not be getting out of their room.

If my friend is in a depression phase during their flare what can I do?

1. Help them come sit outside with you for a few minutes and get some vitamin D

2. Help set them up a cozy bath.

   1. Create it so they can relax and rest.

   2. Help them feel comfortable so they can ask for help with washing their hair if needed.

   3. Make a spa night with them.

3. Bring them fun new comfy clothes that will encourage them to reset and get clean.

Helping your friend through a flare does not have to be emotionally taxing on you or financially taxing. Just being there means the most to us. If you just send a message checking in or if you write a letter encouraging us. That will go a long way. Don’t worry about spending money or doing too much!

My incredible and amazing nurses when I came back for a follow up from a terrible flare that landed me in the ER